Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Forwarded email.. in case u have not read it.. enjoy..:)
Bringing English to SensesDinesh VoraThe European Commission has just announced an agreement wherebyEnglish will be the official language of the EuropeanUnion rather thanGerman, which was the other possibility.As part of the negotiations, the British Governmentconceded that English spelling had some room forimprovement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in planthat would become known as "Euro-English".In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, thiswill make the sivil servants jump with joy.The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear upkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when thetroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This willmake words likefotograf 20% shorter.In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan beexpekted to reach the stage where more komplikatedchanges are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which havealways ben a deterent to akurate speling.Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in thelanguag is disgrasful and it should go away.By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav areil sensibl riten styl.Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezitu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vilfinali kum tru.Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vuntedin ze forst plas.If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
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